2008 Woodie Awards
The Right Opinion
Timmothy Garner
Issue date: 9/7/07 Section: Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
A lot of people are concerned about manmade global warming. It is used to explain every possible weather phenomenon, such as floods, droughts, hot weather, and cold weather. We are told by politicians and environmentalists that the world is being destroyed, and that Americans are to blame. Our cars and houses are too big, and we fly too much. When a hurricane hits New Orleans, it is your fault for not living a primitive life in a hut made of feces.
The latest fashion among guilty liberals is to buy carbon credits to offset their personal emissions. Companies that sell carbon credits will perform some environmental good deed in exchange for your money. After purchasing carbon credits, liberal elites can still fly on private jets and drive SUV's without troubling their consciences. Carbon credits are how Al Gore justifies using ten times as much power as the average household (at just one of his houses). My hometown of Keene, New Hampshire even bought carbon offsets for its Christmas tree lights.
Carbon credits are about good feelings rather than results. Paying someone to plant a tree or build a windmill is not going to make the world any hotter or colder. Carbon credits are pointless, but I have a way to make their efforts even less fruitful. I am proposing a system of carbon credit offsets.
The idea is simple-increase your personal carbon dioxide and methane emissions to counteract efforts of others to offset their emissions. There are many changes you can make in your daily life to put a dent in their efforts. When you leave a room, leave on the lights. Put your recyclables into the trash (this one might not work, because it probably all goes to the same place anyway). Buy a bigger car. Burn your trash if you live where you can get away with it. Working together, we can make a difference.
The latest fashion among guilty liberals is to buy carbon credits to offset their personal emissions. Companies that sell carbon credits will perform some environmental good deed in exchange for your money. After purchasing carbon credits, liberal elites can still fly on private jets and drive SUV's without troubling their consciences. Carbon credits are how Al Gore justifies using ten times as much power as the average household (at just one of his houses). My hometown of Keene, New Hampshire even bought carbon offsets for its Christmas tree lights.
Carbon credits are about good feelings rather than results. Paying someone to plant a tree or build a windmill is not going to make the world any hotter or colder. Carbon credits are pointless, but I have a way to make their efforts even less fruitful. I am proposing a system of carbon credit offsets.
The idea is simple-increase your personal carbon dioxide and methane emissions to counteract efforts of others to offset their emissions. There are many changes you can make in your daily life to put a dent in their efforts. When you leave a room, leave on the lights. Put your recyclables into the trash (this one might not work, because it probably all goes to the same place anyway). Buy a bigger car. Burn your trash if you live where you can get away with it. Working together, we can make a difference.